So as most of you that know me know, I have recently entered into a new phase in my life. For the first time ever I am no longer single. Rebecca and I have decided to start dating/ Courting/ being friends with a purpose, whatever you want to call it. But what is this time actually meant for? Enjoyment of each other in an environment conducive to letting each other know how we feel? I think not! How about discovering if it’s God’s will for us to get marred one day? … Maybe, but I don’t think that’s all either. According to Joshua Harris, “our goals should be to grow and guard. We want to grow closer so we can truly know each other’s character, but we also want to guard each other’s hearts because the outcome of our relationship is still unknown” (75). So this is a time to become better friends, to learn about each other and to get a chance to see who each of us really are, not to worry about if in the end we would be compatible as a couple. That kind of stuff will work its self out later if we maintain a proper attitude now. So how do we become better friends/ get to know each other better, and guard each other’s hearts. Well at the moment taking walks at school, hanging out with each other’s families, and other activities that aren’t particularly romantic, that are conducive to conversation are great chances to learn more about each other. So what about guarding our hearts… that’s the hard part, how do you let someone know how much they mean to you without communicating more commitment than you can give? Unfortunately I didn’t find any magic answer from Harris, other than that as your confidence in marriage increases so should your romantic expressions. So it sounds as if I would need to refrain from it pretty much completely. So what is appropriate? Should we hold hands, is it ok to say “I love you”? I don’t know, and I don’t think there is a general answer for everyone in this stage in their lives, it’s something God has to communicate to everyone individually what is appropriate for them at the stage in life that they are in. so yeah, sorry for not giving all the answers to life’s questions, but I hope if you are where I am right now this can help you.
