Not Just love, but IN LOVE

Ok so this if my first official blog post, the last one was a copy of an essay I wrote awhile back.

God has really been working on me lately through conversations with my friends and blog posts by LoVizzle.  I’ve been struggling with putting things in front of God and not letting Him have the proper place in my life, right in the center.  At my weakest I had even reached a point where if God wouldn’t give me what I wanted, permission to date, I was going to stop asking and just do it on my own.  Thankfully He didn’t let it come to that.  Through a desire to understand that He placed in me I asked my friends lots of questions and through their wise advice and scriptures such as Jeremiah29:11 and songs like While I'm Waiting helped me learn to be patient.

I could now wait, but I wasn’t happy about it.  Why would God keep something as amazing as a relationship with a godly young woman from me?  Why didn’t He want me to be happy?  I continued with this attitude for several days and then last night before church I sent a text to my friend Kay lo and asked her how she had become satisfied, not just patient, with being single.  She responded by saying,

                “The only times in life that I have ever been truly satisfied and content were times when I was closest to God.  It took a lot for me to get to those points in life though.  But in those times, I was so focused on the love of God, that the love and attention I got from others didn’t even compare to the love I was receiving from God, and therefore it made it much easier for me to spend every second of my time pursuing God’s perfect love rather than the love guys [or in my case girls] would have to offer me because there was just no comparison.”  She continued and said, “You may REALLY like [a girl] right now, but you will never TRULY be able to love her unconditionally as a man should until you live in the perfect love of God every moment of every day.”

                Wow it was like God was just talking right through her. He didn’t want me to just love Him he wanted me to be IN LOVE with him the way He’s so IN LOVE with me.  But how do you fall in love with God?  How do you let His love consume you?  How do you get that close to Him? If you aren’t saved it’s impossible, you first have to feel his convicting power then respond to his drawing and pray sincerely, begging him to save you.  Once you have surrendered to His satisfaction and He saves you, is when you can truly communicate with Him and actually know what love is, and fall in love with Him. But I’ve been saved since I was 13, I already had that line of communication available, how do I fall in love again?  So I asked Kay lo again. 

                She replied back saying that last year she had had a really bad 8 months and couldn’t get over a relationship she had had.  She said the depression had caused her to lose her joy in life, and even the will to live.  She said,

“I wanted to laugh because something was actually funny, I wanted to smile and it not have to be fake, I wanted to be happy, TRULY happy without pretending.  Then in a night of misery knowing that I did NOT want to live like that, God showed me that until I was ready to devote all of my love to Him, I wouldn’t just get better on my own,  Because without his love, we really can’t feel anything but lustful emotions and hormones.  All true happiness comes from Him alone.  And when we put Him first, that’s when we experience the love with others. … When I got to the point where I knew I couldn’t live in that condition a moment longer, God just said, ‘So are you ready for MY love?’ And that’s when I realized that that was all I Needed all along.”

                I related so well to that, that very day I had said to myself, “What’s the point of life, I’m sick of it.” I had reached the bottom and knew I couldn’t stand it much longer.  So I decided to go into church and try to worship God and not care what I looked like or what people thought about every action I did.  I entered, willing to be moved by God.  The song selection was like God was saying, “you know what I want.  I want my love to consume you in every aspect of your life.  I Love you!”  Now through much prayer by myself and others I can say I don’t just love God, but I am truly IN LOVE with Him.  He loves me, and he loves you too, and wants us all to be madly in love with him.  And he’s willing to help if we’ll be willing to let him. 

Forgiven

Since God is my life, i think how i met Him should be my first post.

 I know I have been forgiven!  Like many a thirteen-year old boy, I sat half listening to the preacher in church.  While I was sitting there, God came and let me know just how bad a sinner I truly was.  He also let me know that I didn’t deserve forgiveness, but He wanted to give it to me anyway.  In fact, He loved me so much He sent his son to Earth for me, if I didn’t repent, He would have to send me to Hell, no matter how much it broke his heart.

When I was younger I tried to obey my parents, do what was moral, and go to church.  I grew up in a religious home where almost everybody knew god, except me.  In fact, my grandpa, uncle, and brother were all preachers.  At the age of thirteen, I came to the realization that I didn’t deserve to be God’s child.  He had given me live and I had wasted it recklessly.

No longer listening to the preacher, I sat there thinking about what god had shown me.  Meanwhile He sent my mom to me.  She sat down beside me and asked if I was lost; I replied by shaking my head, no.  I was too busy thinking about what god had told me to act on His calling.  Thankfully, God sent her to talk to me one more time.  This time, she asked me if I needed to pray.  I responded by nodding my head, turning around, and kneeling at my seat.  I no longer could ignore God’s calling.  The only words I can remember praying were, “I am so sorry,” and “please forgive me,” but Jesus was pleading for me to his father.  As the bible says, “[T]he Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings to deep for words.” (Romans 8:26 NASB95)  

When I finished praying, I knew God had forgiven me for all my sins, both the ones I knew about and the ones I didn’t know about.  He not only forgave me but He also forgot about all of my sins.  Like the Bible says, “I will forgive their wickedness and will never again remember their sins.” (Jeremiah 31:34, NLT)  God is so loving that when the devil brings past, forgiven sins back to my mind, God can say that He doesn’t know what I’m talking about, or He doesn’t remember anything like that.

Now, since I am saved, I no longer have to fear that God will have to send me to Hell, because I am one of his sons, but it also doesn’t mean that I’m going to have an easy time either.  1 John tells us, “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!  Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.” (1 John3:1, NKJV)  In fact, the world not only didn’t “know” him, but also hated him and sent him to the cross, and while on the cross He said, Father, forgive them; they don’ know what they’re doing.” (Luke 23:34, The Message)

Although I am not capable of being like Jesus, I should try to learn from his example, and strive to be more like him.  I have been forgiven! So I should be able, with God’s help, to forgive that much more.  THANK YOU GOD!