Should our friend’s good fortune not make us happy for them instead of feeling sorry for ourselves? One of my friends just announced she got engaged, and of course I congratulated her, but inside I felt jealousy, and I envied her. She now has what I desire with every ounce of my being, and yet can’t have yet, a committed relationship headed towards marriage. Perhaps the fact that I used to have a crush on her helps feed my jealousy but that’s no excuse, I’m a child of Almighty God and jealousy isn’t a character trait that his children should have. Perhaps desiring something so much, no matter how good it can be in the proper time, that it drives you to literally be in pain about your lack when one of your friends gets it, means that that has become an idle that you are worshiping instead of God. That’s a scary thought; I have become an idle worshiper without making a conscious decision to turn from God and towards this false god of an intimate relationship. Every time Israel turned to false gods in the bible, they always suffered, and God removed his protection from them, and they were usually conquered and brought into slavery. But whenever they would turn from their false gods and seek Him, he was faithful and just to forgive their sins and restore relationship with them and restore his protection. When we turn to false gods today, perhaps we aren’t conquered in a physical battle with swards and stuff, but we get conquered spiritually and God removes some of his protection from us, and we are easily sucked into the sinful ways of the world. Like in one scripture it talks about his word being a light unto our feet. It’s talking in the analogy the shepherd is walking along a slope and one wrong step in the dark will make him fall down the hill, but Gods word is a light helping him find the safe path at the top. But when we neglect studying the word, or let our batteries in our flashlight die, we can’t tell were the path is anymore and so easily step off that ledge. So much now, I pray asking that God will show me the path he wants me to take in my life and I get disappointed or frustrated when I don’t get an obvious answer, but He’s given me a way to see my path, but I blatantly leave the batteries out of the flashlight he gave me and I turn my back on him, desiring relationships and other stuff more than him. And what could have been a peaceful night stole down the beach hand in hand with Jesus turns into a perilous mountain climb in the dead of night, and I wonder why I can’t overcome addictions and I fall into temptation. The reason is obvious; I have turned to worshiping false gods. Now the only way off the side of the cliff without falling and being destroyed is to get on my knees and beg him to come and help me, and get those old batteries out and charge them and put them back in the flash light so that I will be able to find my way back down the mountain to the beach where Jesus is standing with his arms wide open waiting to embrace me and take my hand and continue the peaceful stroll down the moon lit beach.
If you are like me and have at least subconsciously turned your desires away from God after something else, I recommend that you get on your Knees with me and get back into His holy word, and submit to him your desires; he loves you and wants what’s best for you. I know its scary leavening any aspects of your live up to someone else, but as one verse in Jeremiah says, he knows the plans he has for you, they aren’t to harm you, there to help you and bring you a good future. I don’t know if anybody else needed to hear this, but I know I did. And even if I did a terrible job writing it, God still used it for me, so it was worth it.
